The greatest contributor in the field of arachnology and uncontested “father of the invert hobby” Dr. Todd Gearheart, has announced a never-before event in the history of the tarantula hobby. He will be breeding, selling and taking advance cash deposits for a spider not yet discovered.

 

Dr. Gearheart says that this as yet undiscovered species will probably be from some remote island in the Indian Ocean, or possibly from an unexplored section of the Amazon. He plans on naming this rare new tarantula after himself, possibly Avicularia cuttingedgei. Says Dr. Todd, “I’ve already done everything possible to further the hobby, the only thing left is to discover a new tarantula, breed it, and take cash deposits on it, not necessarily in that order”.

 

When asked if it was a good idea to take deposits on something that isn’t even discovered yet, the Doctor replied, “It makes perfect business sense. You see, the average hobbyist doesn’t really know what they want, and it’s my job to tell them what they should have in their collection. So even if by some rare chance that I don’t discover a new species, I just try and sell them something I have in stock”. The interviewer then asked Dr. T.G. about giving a refund if the new spider isn’t available. “Nonsense” replied the doctor. “I’ve been in this business before most dealers were a filthy thought in their father’s minds. All I need to do is to stall paying the refund, by then the hobbyist is tired of waiting and I offer them something that I have in stock. There you go, everyone is happy!”

 

Says Dr. T, “I have the largest inventory of invertebrates in the free world. No other dealer even comes close, they’re all morons. That’s why I am the ’Cutting Edge’ in the hobby”. When asked about the claims that he has very little actually available for sale, Dr. T replied, “My stuff sells so quickly, it’s difficult to keep certain items in stock. Right now I have a very good selection”. At that time, Dr. T spoke about his inventory. “I have in stock 4 species of Florida mosquitos and 3 species of brown anoles. These are all rare, of course, that’s why I am the ‘cutting edge’ of arachnoculture”.